In this episode, Lisa talks about a lesson she learned from her son about how small wins can make a big difference; the way our self talk changes when we can identify and celebrate areas where we’re rocking it.
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Prefer to read? Here’s the transcript:
Hey, welcome to another episode of the Podcast. Today, you’ve just got me, with a little reflection on something that my son taught me, actually. And I think it’s relevant for all of us. So, let me start with what happened last Friday.
It was his school sports carnival. He’s in Grade 1, so he’s six, and he loves sport. Like, lives for running. Any sport that he has tried, he’s really good at. And he tells me how fast he is, and I know he’s fast, but, you know, I’m his mum, so of course I’m going to be, like, his number one fan.
Anyway, he ran his sprint race, and it was 80m, and he creamed it. He was so fast, even I couldn’t believe it, and by the end I was obviously in tears, because that’s the kind of person that I am. And he was on cloud nine. He’s like, ‘Mum, I’m the fastest!’
Before then, as I do, he was like, ‘Mum, I think I’m going to win today,’ and I’m like, ‘Dude, that’s awesome. But remember that as long as you’re having fun, that’s really what matters.’ And he said to me, ‘But it is nice to win Mum,’ and I said, ‘Yeah buddy, it is!’ He’s got a little bit of a competitive nature, I think.
I couldn’t deny it. Yes, it really is nice to win, to feel like you’ve done a really great job, and you’ve come out on top. Sure, not going to deny that that’s a cool feeling. Anyway, he ran that race, blitzed it. I would have been proud no matter what happened, but even I was a bit shocked. I thought, ‘OK, maybe we do have a sportsman here.’
So, the next day was soccer, and we were in the car on the way to soccer, and he said, ‘Mum, I’m going to score a goal today.’ And I was like, ‘Yeah you are, awesome!’ And he said, ‘No, I really am going to score a goal today.’ And let me just say, his team hadn’t scored a goal all season. They’re definitely the worst team in their division, and, you know, because of the fact that for most of them it was their first year.
It’s my son’s first year playing soccer, as well, and most of the other kids had done it at Under 6s, and now they’re in Under 7s. So, most teams had a year to, kind of, get through the whole moving around the ground like a herd, and forgetting to chase the ball, etc. Anyway, they love it! They have so much fun. He loves soccer.
Anyway, they’d never scored a goal, I wasn’t holding out much hope, but we got there and the game was pretty even. They hadn’t played this team before, and their team got a goal, no surprises. And we found out from the other parents that that was the first goal they’d scored all season. So, they were jumping around for joy, and our kids finally had the chance to, kind of, play a fair match.
And running down the field, my son shoots a goal! It was the most extraordinary feeling. I’m trying not to cry right now. And he just looked at me, and he just went, ‘I did it!’ And he then went on to score another two goals – a hat trick. He got three goals in one match, the only goals that his team had scored all season.
And I was looking at him, and I was thinking, ‘He told himself he was going to do that.’ The woo woo part of me was like, ‘He manifested those goals.’ He had created a winning feeling for himself. In his mind, he was fast, he was a winner, and he went on and replicated that in soccer, after his big race win the day before.
Ever since then, I’ve been reflecting on it. That momentum that he created for himself. The way that he was talking to himself. The belief that he had that he could absolutely do it, and he just went right ahead and did it. And I don’t think that there are mistakes about it.
Sure, you know, we’re getting closer to the end of the season and he’s had a lot more practice than he had in the beginning, but I’m wondering about his headspace, and his belief in himself, and how that’s started to spill over into other parts of his life.
Then I started thinking about us, and I started thinking about myself, and how that momentum that we can create is so, so powerful. And then, of course, I made the connection that that’s all I’ve ever tried to help people achieve in Small Steps land. That feeling, ‘I can do this.’ That feeling, ‘This is possible for me,’ and the awesome feeling that happens when you start to implement, see results, and realise that this is now the new you.
It’s so powerful. And I have never, ever been a fan of, you know, going from zero to hero, completely changing the way everything happens. It’s unsustainable, we fall in a heap. But, like what my son had shown me, you work towards something. You practice, practice, practice. You get a win, and then suddenly, you’re off.
So, I want to encourage you – like I would with all my Small Steppers in the membership, and when I ran Small Steps to Wholefoods, and coming up, there’ll be a brand new program – to get some wins on the board. Because what’s possible when we do that – and they don’t have to be winning big races, they just have to be proving that we can do one thing.
It’s why, when it comes to food especially, I just start with breakfast, just start there. Because that winning feeling in the morning, like, ‘Wow, I just actually had, like, bacon and eggs,’ or whatever it is, ‘And I feel really good, and it wasn’t that hard. I could do this again tomorrow.’
And then that winning feeling, from breakfast, spills over to lunch. ‘Well, if I did that, and I did it well this morning, and I’ve been doing that all week, well, maybe I don’t need a big focaccia. Maybe I can have something different for my lunch.’
So, I want to encourage you to recognise, and remember, that momentum means a lot. And you can create that for yourself in any element of your life, in the smallest ways. And it doesn’t mean that you then have to be consistent, and change happens in this linear process. No way.
But it means that when we get a taste of how good we might be able to feel, that there is something kind of addictive about that, and we see ourselves in a new light. And sometimes, that’s all it takes to create a really big ripple effect in your life.
So, when you’re thinking about, ‘It’s too hard, I’m failing at this,’ remember that the wins can come in really small, little ways. But to recognise them, and honour them, and then take that feeling with you. Because you are actually amazing, and you’re super-powerful, and I saw miracles happen on that soccer field! And I believe 100% it was because my son had that winning feeling.
So, I encourage you to find it. How can you feel like a winner in your day-to-day? What small step can you take to get that winning feeling? Bye for now.