In this episode, Lisa revisits a live video on Facebook where she talked about the challenge of wanting to feed your family whole foods, while simultaneously wanting them to be able to participate in and enjoy a culture that doesn’t always meet that standard (like buying a cookie from the local shop, or buying treats at the movies with your friends).
You can view more of Lisa’s live videos about food, motherhood, life and business here: https://www.facebook.com/pg/LisaCorduff1/videos/
Her program Small Steps to Wholefoods closes at midnight on 2nd March 2017, and you can join here: http://smallstepsliving.com/sstw/
Prefer to read? Here’s the transcript:
Hey guys. Something a little different on the podcast today. I’ve been flicking through some of my Facebook Lives. Some of my 100 Facebook Lives! And I came across this doozy, and I really wanted to share it again, because it so clearly explains the grey that is my life with kids and wholefoods. It’s definitely a ‘keepin’ it real’ kind of share, and it raised a really interesting conversation, when I did it as a Facebook Live post. It was around what happened when I took my son, his friend, and my daughter to the movies for his birthday. It’s a bit of lolly talk. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy it, and I would love to hear any thoughts that you have from this. Obviously we’re not on Facebook Live, where we can have a conversation about it in the thread, but please feel free to leave a comment in the Comments section below the podcast on the website, or leave a review on iTunes. Thanks so much. Enjoy this episode.
Something happened today, and it really made me think about a topic that I’m super, super passionate about. So, it was my son’s birthday on Sunday, and today he had a special day, with one of his besties, going trampolining, and then I took him to a movie. Right? So, this is honesty time for Lisa. So, okay, I took my son and my daughter, and his friend, to trampolining and to the movies, and I didn’t take any food, which is highly unusual for me. Well, I took some apples, but we were away on the weekend. I feel like I’ve been chasing my tail all week, and I just don’t have much food around. Like, I didn’t have a cake made, or cookies made, or anything like that. So, off we trot, and the first thing that I did was get a coffee, and they got a Babyccino, and I do this thing where there’s a local café near us that serve homemade choc chip cookies, and I get them some.
They’re too much for one child, I mean, they could easily put it away. I get two, or sometimes I just get one, and break it up into little pieces, and put it in a bag, and I call it a Lucky Dip. So, they put their hands in, and they take a piece out, and they’re like, ‘Yes! This is a big one,’ and it’s just exciting for them. It’s called, actually, The Lucky Dip Café, that one, and I like those cookies. They don’t come from a packet, like, someone’s literally made them from white flour, white sugar, probably some eggs, and milk, and a few chocolate chips. So, to me, as a treat, that is acceptable. Then the day continues on, and, you know, we’re at the movies, and I’m feeling the tension starting to rise. My son’s friend is a movie-goer, and his mum is a fan of chocolate, and I know he gets special things when he goes to the movies. So, I’m like, this person who knows all about this food, and yet I have this little guy, my son, who, you know, I don’t want him to feel like he’s missing out.
So, I’m just going to tell you what happened. I’m just going to not sugar coat it. Sugar’s involved in this. So, we go to the movies, and I say, ‘You know, guys, would you like some popcorn?’ Usually, I make my own. Like, I usually take everything where I go. They’re like, ‘Yes!’ And then of course they start asking for lollies, and I just think, ‘I don’t even know what to do here.’ I didn’t want a meltdown, I also just genuinely wanted my son to have a really cool day. I knew, for him, this would be mega. So, I thought, ‘I’m not going to buy a packet of something, because they’re all just going to go mental, and they’re going to disappear, and it’s going to be too hard to manage. I’ll just go to those things where you can, you know, pick a few bits out, and put them in a cup.’ I said to them at the start, ‘You can have five things each,’ in these little plastic cups, and they put it in. Then his friend just went to the raspberry lollies, and just put a scoop in, and he’s like, ‘Oh, that’s five.’ And it looked so sad, ‘Okay, you can have ten.’ Pick ‘n’ mix, yes the Pick ‘n’ mix, that’s exactly what it’s called.
So, I’m like, ‘Okay, you can have ten things.’ Like, my tension is rising, because I didn’t think that they would go for what they went for, which was intense. And there’s this part of me that knows, exactly, about this food, and then there’s just this part of me that needs to let go. I know that food is not great for anyone, and they were my kids. But listen to this, it goes on. So, we go up to the cash register, and they’d each got these ten little things, in the bottom of the thing, and they’re super-pumped. Like, I’m telling you, they were so excited. Except for the friend, because I think he was just like, ‘This is a little bit lame.’ I don’t care if people think I’m weird. So, we went to the thing and she’s like, ‘Oh, it’s A$7.50 per thing, so they can fill it right up. Like, you know, they can just have as much as they want.’ And my kids are like, ‘What is she saying? I can fill this up?’ And I said, ‘Oh, that’s all they need.’ And she said, ‘Oh,’ and I’m thinking to myself, ‘I’m not going to pay A$7.50 each for ten lollies, what am I going to do?’ So, she said, ‘Oh look, I’ll just charge you A$7.50,’ because there were, like, tiny little amounts in the bottom of this thing.
And I thought, ‘Phew,’ because right then and there, I did not know. There was going to be big time meltdown, because I was not going to spend over A$20 on 30 tiny little lollies. I mean, they went in, and they loved it. My daughter cried afterwards, for no reason. And I just let it go. I know that there are some pretty healthy people watching this, thinking, ‘I would never let my kids have that. It’s just total crap, it’s actually not real food.’ And I am about real food, all the way. Except, I do live in the real world, and my kids live in the real world. Like, I can’t help what they’re going to be exposed to. And if they always think that I am stopping them having fun stuff, then they’re going to rebel against that, and they’re going to go crazy.
I wanted to tell you that I struggle with the balance of living in the real world, and highly valuing wholefoods, and getting good stuff into their beautiful growing bodies. That’s my number one priority, but I can’t help what they’re going to be exposed to. We don’t live on a mountaintop, away from everybody else. They see their friends with packet foods at school. I can see a lot of people are liking what I’m saying, because I think, you know, someone’s got to say, ‘It’s really, really hard.’ I also am not a fan of being a guest in other people’s houses, and refusing food. No way. Something’s cooked with love, I’ll eat it. And I don’t want to put up barriers with my kids. We always talk about Occasional Food, or Sometimes Food, we call it. Because I just don’t want them to build up nasty relationships with food. I choose to talk more about the good stuff, and the good things that it does for their body. I find, like, I’m going to be some kind of stress pot, their whole life, and my whole life, if I do let this get on top of me.
I think it’s important to share this stuff, and do you know what I was thinking? I was thinking, when I was there, you know, ‘Here I am, and we’ve just launched the next round of Small Steps to Wholefoods, and what if someone who was about to join my course saw me, and my kids eating lollies?’ And they’d be thinking, ‘What’s she doing buying them that? I thought she was the wholefoods guru.’ And so, I get this kind of complex, but I’m like, ‘Guys, remember, I’m just a real person.’ I love interviewing the absolute gurus. They’re all in the course. They’re all the ones that I look to for that motivation to go to the next level. But I can’t let you think that I’m someone I’m not. I mean, I have done a great job. I am so happy with the food that we feed our family. I really love sharing with you guys, via the blog, the recipes, and, you know, when people write to me and are like, ‘This recipe is a staple in my house, all my family loved it,’ I literally almost cry. I honestly love bringing all that to you. I felt like, ‘I just want to tell them that I love wholefoods, but this is a balancing act. Everything in life is a balancing act.’
I actually say this on the bottom of the Small Steps to Wholefoods sales page, there’s a little PS. My dad always used to say that nature always finds a way of coming back to balance. So, things get too extreme, there’s a build-up in a forest, and there’s lots of underbrush, and there’s all sorts of things going on, and then there’ll be a fire, to just bring everything back to level. You think about it, nature always finds a way. Like, it wants to be in balance, all the time. Our bodies want to be in balance, all the time. I need to try and find a way to balance what I know about food, and what I’m doing about food. And when you head into Small Steps to Wholefoods, that is, like, the number one message. Don’t get overwhelmed by all this stuff that you are learning, and stuff that you know. Because you can’t forget what you know about food, but you also have to manage it in everyday life. You know, I am a person who is constantly learning that. As my children grow, as they’re exposed to more food. Man, it’s easy when they don’t know any better, and when they don’t see what other people have in their lunchboxes, and all that kind of thing. So, we’re all just doing the absolute best that we can. That’s why I just wanted to come in and share this with you, because I had that feeling of, like, ‘Is someone going to see this?’ I’m never going to be able to tell you that I’m something that I’m not.
Jane has just said, ‘That’s an awesome approach. You don’t want to make your kids feel isolated from their peers. Being a kid can be tough enough, without feeling too different.’ Jane, do you know who has also talked about that with me, is Jude Blereau. She’s like, ‘Man, childhood is tough.’ This was the thing, I thought, ‘I don’t want my kid to be the one whose mum is, like, this killjoy.’ There’s always delicious food at their parties, no-one ever complains about the food at their parties. Because, you know, that’s all within my control. But when we’re doing something like going to the movies, once again, it’s absolutely in my control. I’m sure if I brought bliss balls, and homemade popcorn, everything would be fine. It always has been. But, I don’t know, it’s this thing that is a constant evolution for me and my little family. I’m trying to strike a balance for myself, but even more importantly, for them. And thinking about their relationship with food.
I have a friend and she’s like, ‘Man, my mum, you know, we used to get a tin of MILO and she would segregate every bit of MILO. We would get certain amounts, at certain times, and that was it.’ And she feels like her and her sisters have quite a bad relationship with food, because they never got to create their own control. Whereas we always had treats in the pantry. You know, there was fun size this, there were packets of chips, there were Barbecue Shapes. You know, there was cordial, all those sorts of things. I don’t really have a particularly bad relationship with food, you know. I’ve just been really enjoying getting down into the nitty gritty, and learning about food. Learning about how to just do it better, but without the stress.
And that’s what I bring you in Small Steps to Wholefoods. I’m so proud of this program. I’m proud of how it’s changed lives. I’m proud that it’s a reflection of my life, but that I have to be honest, and say that this is a constant balancing act for me. When I say that it’s for people who live in the real world, I really mean it, because I do. You know, I’m not as evolved as some of the other amazing people who might be watching. And, you know, just the approach that I bring to these real life situations, and knowing that there’s got to be a balance between what we know, and what we do. You can’t help but change once you’ve opened your mind, and understood some of the basics of food, and how it does affect you. You can’t forget it, but you sometimes have to roll with it. I know so many-, if any mums are watching, so many of you will know what I’m talking about.
See, this is the thing, right? So, I’m a person who has constant ideas. I feel like I’m in a constant conversation with you guys, and I’ve always got things I want to be sharing, creating, doing. And I have three children. The eldest has, literally on Sunday, turned six. I can’t do everything. It’s so frustrating, but I can’t. My life is a balancing act, everything is that, you know, trying to work out how to make things work within our constraints. So, within our budget, within my time, within the amount of time I’m willing to spend away from my family. So much, just so much. So, I’d better go, but I did just want to come on and share with you all the #keepinitreal, the story, today, of my son at the movies. If you want to get in the groove, and I know that there’s a few of you Small Steppers here right now. You know, jump into Small Steps while the party’s open. If you want to start changing the way that you do things, and spend time with someone who understands that we are living in the real world, then join on in. We’re all living in this real world, we’re all balancing. I’m no guru, but I love being on the journey. I’m proud of what I’ve done with my family, I’m proud that we can start the day with a great breakfast. We can have a great dinner, and I’ve come to a peacefulness that I allow myself to relax for those in-between moments on different days. So, that’s it from me.