It’s endemic. We are a generation constantly being hard on ourselves for choices that we are making, or not making.
We have access to information like never before and it can drive us crazy!
Here’s an example….
Is our child having a tantrum because of:
• food they’ve eaten
• a parasite in their gut
• a reaction to our mood
• a lack of sleep
• a sign they are on the autism spectrum
• a reflection of poor parenting
• too much daycare
• not enough daycare
• a food intolerance or allergy
• because they have anxiety
• a result of the full moon
• a lack of a father figure
• moving schools
• or perhaps they need an energy balance and some crystal healing.
OH ME OH MY!
Don’t try and tell me you haven’t had conversations like this in your head. And as for the conversations, we have about ourselves?
Well – stop and listen to yourself for the rest of the day and notice how kind you are to yourself. I bet, it’s not very.
I suffer from this too, but I have recognised it and am making changes. When I start to feel myself beating up on myself – I remember a few things. I’ve outlined them below.
But first, let me just say this.
No matter what you see on social media or media in general – little is often as it seems. Just a quick reminder that you are perfect in every way. You are.
OK – with that said – here’s how to stop being so hard on yourself.
1. Know that there is always more going on than our conscious brain can make sense of. Whether that’s the stories happening deep in our subconscious (lots I could say here about our food and parenting choices!) or perhaps physically that we can’t see – for example, our conscious brain cannot tell us that our hormones are out of whack.
There is so much we don’t know. Forgive yourself for things that you do that don’t make logical sense. Parenting practices that seem to ‘come from nowhere’ and aren’t in alignment with your values – FORGIVE YOURSELF – there’s always more at play.
2. Lower your expectations. Looking around at what everyone else is achieving, eating, doing, NOT doing – it’s a recipe for disaster. We live in a society that is highly ‘digitally’ connected and it can lead to us feeling like we need to be more than what we can comfortably be.
I was asked again yesterday how I ‘do it all’. Seeming to achieve so much, while having little kids. I was asked by a woman feeling bad about herself because she’s not rocking her online business and she doesn’t even have the ‘excuse’ of kids.
The issue of comparisonitis – constantly comparing yourself to others – means you are holding yourself up to unrealistic ideas. Your expectations of yourself must be based around YOUR circumstances and situation. And the recognition that other people are on their path and are living a totally different life to you.
With food, this is absolutely the case. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to someone whose son was diagnosed coeliac at age 2 and he’s now 10 and the whole family has learnt how to live a gluten-free whole food lifestyle – OVER THE PAST EIGHT YEARS! Lower your expectations and work from exactly where you’re at.
Give yourself permission to go slow.
3. All or nothing rarely works. Sure, there are some people who have pretty non-negotiable views on things and their lifestyle is a reflection of this. But for the vast majority, it’s super hard to make a commitment to do or be something 100% without fail. The diet industry has made a fortune by telling us that unless you’re 100% in, you are a failure and you need to try, try again.
Nature and the real world is all about balance, seasons, going with the flow. And finding the right balance for YOU is what is required. Stop beating yourself up because you’re not 100% perfect at everything all the time. It’s a huge waste of energy. Instead – accept and embrace the fact that imperfection is a part of human nature. It’s part of you. Love yourself for it.
Let me know in the comments if this resonates with you. I’d love to hear how you stop that nasty voice in your head that tells you that you aren’t good enough. We need to switch the conversations in our mind!
If you are looking to make lifestyle changes to improve your health and the health of your family – and you’re sick of the usual BS – I encourage you to check out my Easy Kitchen Reset. It’s a simple program designed to help you press pause on everything happening in your kitchen and cupboards, and start fresh (minus the stress, million trips to the supermarket and expensive ingredients).