In this episode, Lisa talks about the importance of clearing space for yourself and your needs so you can thrive, rather than just survive, as a parent and woman in a fast-paced and overwhelming world.
Register for the Replace Online Time with Me Time webinar here: http://smallstepsliving.com/me-time/
Prefer to read? Here’s the transcript:
Hey everyone, it’s just me again on the Podcast today. Thank you for joining me. Look, to tell you the truth, I’m recording this after one of the craziest weeks in my little business. Here’s the thing, I’m going to give you a bit of a backstory. So, I did record a Podcast about my time in New York recently, when was that? I can’t even remember! May? Now it’s July.
When I was flying back on the plane, I had this idea come into my head. Something has been ruminating, for me, for a really, really long time as I observe the beautiful Small Steps community, as I grow with my toddler children into the school years, as I speak to friends who’ve got their own business. You know, school mums, friends I’ve known for years and years.
There’s just this theme that keeps coming through, that’s really bugging me. There’s also this feeling that I’ve had for a really long time, with Small Steps, that I kind of try and convince people that it’s not going to be super-hard for them to make food from basic ingredients.
I try to lay it out as simply as possible. Like, I couldn’t make it any simpler in the Easy Kitchen Reset product that I have. Like, literally just going to walk you through, hold your hand, I don’t use fancy ingredients. Bang.
But there’s this feeling amongst us, as a generation of women, that creating any kind of change like that is actually really hard, because we’re maxed out, completely. We’re constantly living a life of stress, anxiety, comparison, very little self-worth, a lot of guilt. A lot of guilt. And it’s just not really working for us.
So, when someone’s like, ‘Hey, I know you probably feel guilty about that food that you’re feeding your kids, or that you’re eating, sneaking. I can help you.’ They’re like, ‘I know, yes, if I just had the time. If I just had the headspace to do this, sure.’
I know this, because I feel it too. You know, the times when we’re not eating that great, when I stock up at the market and by the end of the week, there are all these veggies left there. I’m thinking, ‘How did that week just happen? How is it Friday?’
It’s when I am feeling overwhelmed and stressed. So, as you know, I created the Declutter Challenge, and I put it out there, and it went crazy. I have never had a response like that to anything I’ve ever done before! It’s obviously hit the mark. People weren’t promised that we’re going to completely redo their house in five days – it’s small steps, of course. Things that can help them declutter their mind, and also their space.
By the time this podcast is released – it’s actually Sunday night tonight, and we’ve just done our first day. So, this is why I’m feeling a little bit pumped to do a poddy, because of seeing the response of these women to today’s first challenge. And it’s totally overwhelming. I was kind of guessing at what might help people, but now I can see that the stuff that I’ve been doing, it’s universal, really.
We are all struggling with this, especially with the whole concept of our online addictions, our phone addictions. You know, what sort of space are they really taking up in our lives? If you’re listening to this before Thursday 16 July, I am actually holding a one-hour online workshop about replacing online time with me time, because what I’m seeing is – and what I am feeling – is that I can easily lose myself in social media.
I can be distracted throughout my day, with notifications on my phone. I run an online business, for goodness’ sake, where I am constantly keeping up-to-date with things. All of the people on my team are remote, so we never go to an office, we’re always communicating online.
I have had to put some serious boundaries in place, in order to be able to manage this, because otherwise my kids are going to be in High School and I will have spent these years with my head in my phone. And I don’t want that. I do not want that.
So, it brings up this other point, right? That we’re living on the rabbit wheel, we can’t really get off. There’s just so much expected of us, there’s so much we feel we’re failing at. There’s so much comparison online, we’re just looking around at everyone else killing it, and we’re just thinking, ‘What? Oh, why is this so hard for me, and everyone else is OK?’
You know, sometimes there are times when we’re sailing, and it’s awesome. That is what I want to feel more often. I want to feel that sail, I want to feel the flow through my life, and I want to be able to notice those present moments. I’ve realised quite a lot that we can’t do it unless we clear a little bit of space.
So, when I was on that trip home from New York, in truth, I jotted down a brand new online program. I just wrote down these topics that I wanted to explore with women, that I wanted them to have a chance to stop, to sit with themselves, to think, reflect, pause. Because I feel like so many of us don’t feel like we’ve got the hands on the steering wheel of our own life.
As I was up in the air, over the Pacific Ocean, I felt so lucky. I felt lucky that I had done the work in this area, that I had decided to get serious about my overwhelm and chaos. That I decided that what I wanted mattered, even with a family of young kids, and that everything was going to be OK if I allowed myself to follow my dreams too.
I felt really glad that I had read all the books, and listened to all the podcasts, and have a husband who studies philosophy and will talk all the talk on personal development, which I don’t actually like the word of. Personal exploration is a word I prefer, because, you know, we’re perfect right here right now – we don’t need to develop into anything perfect – we are perfect. But I love exploring different parts of myself, and I love learning from people who’ve learnt cool stuff, and then I put it into my life.
I was sitting there just thinking, ‘I want to give other people the opportunity to do this. I want to give women a space, and I want them to be able to do this stuff without having to consume a whole load of information. You know, to have to make it feel like just more for them to do. It had to be easy to consume, it had to be really transformational, in a short amount of time. And give them what they needed.
The Declutter Challenge is, like, the party before launching Small Steps Back to You. Small Steps Back to You is this program that I created, up in the sky. And listen, I make it sound like I just made it up. It has been something I’ve been thinking for a really long time, but it all just, kind of, landed for me. I do a lot of good thinking up in the sky, actually, and I’ve come home, after that, and just started putting bits in place – and it’s finally ready to be shared.
Thursday, at 8:00pm, I am doing the online workshop. You know, I totally get the irony that I am doing an online workshop called Replace Online Time with Me Time. I get it! It’s not about ditching everything straight away, it’s about feeling in control. And actually, strategies to really cut down on, and manage, our online time so that we can do stuff that matters. I’ll be sharing with people on that workshop details of Small Steps Back to You.
So, if you’re hearing this after then, I will be hoping that you’ll go and check out the program, because I’m only keeping the doors open for a week, and then we’re going to close them again. And that’s a person decision of me setting my own boundaries. It’s intense being in launch mode, and sharing, and promoting, and I do tend to go a bit crazy. Everything amps up a bit around here at launch time, because you just have to be a lot more ‘on’.
This is a brand new course, and people are going to have lots of questions, and I am all the nerves putting it out into the world to be totally honest with you. Because I know how to help people with food. You know, thousands of women have trusted me with that journey, and I thank them so much for that – and if you’re one of them, I hope that you took small steps away.
With this new program, I’d love you to trust me with you, with your dreams, with your priorities that might feel totally skewed, with your massive overwhelm. I have exercises for you to do, to reflect on, so that you feel closer to who you are. Especially for the women who have had children, and find themselves on the other side of this moment in their lives, going, ‘What the fuck now? Who am I now?’
What I discovered, in some of my darker times of parenthood, was that I had no idea what this new Lisa wanted. This Lisa who was stronger than I ever realised, was more resilient than I ever realised, who had a huge capacity for love, but I’d given it all towards my children. And suddenly I was like, ‘Man, I’m just doing the do here. What do I actually want?’
These exercises that I have created, after doing lots and lots of work, and experimenting with myself, are going to help you get back to you. So you can be the best version of yourself in this next stage of your life. And look, if you’ve got kids, if you don’t have kids – it doesn’t matter.
If your kids have left the nest, and you’re at a different phase, and thinking, ‘I need a moment to reassess all this,’ perfect. If your kids are now all at school, and you’ve got no one at home with you, and you need that point in time to reassess, this is it.
Can’t wait to share it with you! I’m really excited. Like, I actually can feel emotion in my voice, and I think that that’s because with over 9,000 doing that Declutter Challenge, we are not alone in this overwhelm. And we can choose a different way. We just need to get really clear on our values, on what we actually want, and create a path to get there.
I think it’s OK for us to have our own needs, to explore things that, maybe, we never would have been interested in, or passionate about, before kids. And sometimes, we just need a moment to ourselves, to focus on us. I felt that really disappeared in early parenthood, and in parenthood in general. If I have thoughts, they’re usually around what my family needs.
If I get spare time, I’m usually thinking, ‘Well, I can use this time to go and get the birthday presents for the parties next weekend,’ or, you know, all the things. You know what I’m talking about! And I was sort of sick of feeling that constant switched-on for everybody else. So, this was my way of switching on for me.
I’m sharing it with you in the hope that it gives you the chance to live a purposeful and meaningful life, to just reclaim who you are, what you want. It’s going to be amazing. It’s run over four weeks, I’m dragging it out! We’re going to do two exercises a week, and everything is easily consumed.
Depending on how long you want to spend contemplating some of the exercises, you can knock it over in half an hour each week. You can take a little longer – I’m sure that the questions that are asked, and the exercises that you are given, will be used over and over again in your life. This is like a handbook of small steps for women to get back on track, and I’m really excited to bring it to you.
By the end, you will have created your very own personal manifesto, a powerful document that you can refer to, and look at, to remind you when life gets crazy, as it will. So, pretty excited to be sharing this. Please come along to the workshop – I would love to have you there if you struggle with managing your online time and it’s encroaching on your ‘me time’. And if you’ve got no ‘me time’, you definitely need to be there!
I’ll pop the links all below, and I look forward to sharing more with you about it. I guess it’s a big moment for me, to talk about more than just food with you beautiful people, but I think as any Small Stepper knows, it’s always about more than the food. This little program is a collection of many, many years of observing and supporting women in their journeys to change, and I really hope you’re going to like it. See you, guys.